hearty

no hearts.no feelings.just empty.why do u leave me?just because of that old picture?here's a letter to my heart
dear heart,i'm so sorry coz keep on hurting you.im letting myself to fall for a guy..that doesnt want me at all.;(
i love him.i sacrificed a lot for him.first break up is fine,second break up is okay.but the 3rd break up,what can i say.i love u so dearly,why do you have to treat me like that?i'm crying myself to sleep..im speechless.why..why..(T.T)i saw ur fb..i think u r moving on..it's very sad to see the one u loved,leave u by not saying goodbye..i'm strong..i know i can do it..i know i can move on..a big regret of my life..u dont even care what happened to me......look at the bright side...i have more friends..i'm not perfect at all..im sorry coz this girl cant make u love her..it's SO PAINFUL.
when im sick,where were you..i was hoping u could come..and look after me..but u didnt..when im so sad..where were you..you were with ur frens..happily..but u never realized how i felt..almost everyday,i have been crying myself to sleep.that's not a lie.u never cared..i lose wan...u leave me when i need you..when i was driving alone at 10 pm,going back to the campus,what did you do?where were you?you with ur friends.AGAIN.I need you,but u were never be there for me.you have wasted so much time with them and i dont want to see myself marrying a guy that put other thing as his 1st priority..my position is ALWAYS at the bottom of ur list right?i didnt asked u to buy bmw for me,i dont need ur money,cars and cash.all i want is u treat me nicely.but u never appreciated me.u called or texted me when u need me..but when i need you,where were you?it's not fair at all.now,you're moving on,all i can do is smile..feeling the pain..at the age of 21..u know how i have always felt..for you..u know i love you..but u and ur ego..u accused me..becoz of that picture,you leave me just like a that..i'm almost gone mad..and thankfully,im a diploma holder..even if u r not reading this,i want u to know..i'll remember what have u done to me..on my final year of diploma.i'm lucky to have great friends and that's the only thing i'll never regret throughout these 3 years.The only thing that can make me strong enough to face this is to delete you from my life..forever..i dont want to remember anything about you..coz diz has been driving me crazy..for 3 months..i want to be happy..let me go..i cant be like this forever..u know who you are..i have never love someone..like this..so badly..if i move on one day,remember i have loving u so much more than i love myself and that is so wrong..becoz u have to love urself first,then u can love others..

about the past

i still cant get over you,
i still cant.
please help me.i dunno what's going on between us.u& me,it was a lovely story.our love story starts,when i thought u're the most annoying person in the world back then.everytime,u passed me with ur green baju mlayu,u're always giggled there with ur friends.and i find that was annoying.and i kept on hearing ur names,well from my bestie darel.
at first,i didnt bothered much when u text me..but i have a bit feelngs towards you..when u were dating with the gal,i pretend not to look at you,but actually,i looked at you when you're not even looking..till the day,i did a prank call to u..and then it starts.u're such a sweet person..i can remembered how u would acted when i was around..i can c ur face blushed when ur friends teased you..
1 km away,i can see ur widest smile when u saw me waving at you..our love was great..we made promises to each other..and i still kept ur doll..and i dont want to throw it away..it all just lies wan..and it surprised me,u remembered my full name even i didnt know u dat tyme..we're both going out..and untill that day..u bought me the little teddy keychain..and gave it to me..i was so happy..and i loved it so much..too bad the teddy lost his arms..we would texted each other,every single days..every nite...and i could see ur smile..
i always remembered u could called me ham2..and i called u miao2..sad nw..i wish u were with me..too bad..u were with her rite now..

a sad moment

how i wished that this wouldnt turned to be this way?how wish i could return back to the time that i made a mistake to u?im such a fool.m trying hard to get over him.he's rite now happy with his new gal while im d one who stuck with our memories.i know u're not that kind of person.and i know,u're not mean.and never will.i want to hear from urself.that's all lies.it broke my heart when she answered the call and telling u were still asleep.it hurts deeper.i made a lot of promises with you.we were so happy back then..y?y?y u did diz to me..u broke up with me..d nite before our 1st year anniversary.well,its easy to say dat i can forget u.but truthfully,i cant.i just wish u could read diz.i wish u knew i love u more than u could have imagined..i wished everythg was normal..just like back then..i wish u were in love with me once again..how could u do diz to me..i love u always,and for now,be happy with the gal tht u re currently in love now..i couldnt imagined,u played our songs to her..she took u away from me..it likes i have been robbed.i dun even know what to say.im trying to move on..and sadly,if i did,i wouldnt turned back anymore.i will kept on looking forward.if i do so,it hurts me deeper.and deeper.the wounds are still there.at my chest.only me,and god know,how it felt..it aint easy..

i know you want me

choose one.diz ice cream or me?no.im taken by my wawan.so u have to choose tht ice cream.

I know you want me

u knw i want you

i m so addicted to this song!nice~

im being myself.and happy for who i am.nobody can bring me down!

Dear bloggie,it has been two months i have been in miri.im not active in my blogging activities,well this is it.Im a bit sad to leave miri actually,because i have to be independent if im at my uni.well,when im at home,i have nothing to worry about..$$ problems obviously..my food..my laundry..everything is being taken care of.

My first job ever at the age of 20,A TUITION TEACHER!SO,my first day was quite bad.I didnt prepared at all.:( there were a few notty students which reminds me lil bit of myself..but over all,i think my job is okay.the students did show some efforts.i appreciated them a lot.since this is my first job.i didnt earned much..but tht's gonna be fine since i have nothing to do at home..

And i have realized that i have to learn to appreciate my friends.sometimes,it is nice to do thgs for urself..:) no pressure at all.just me.<3till>

another day of boredom

study,study,study,till my head felt wanna explode.try to open my facebook page,still didnt managed to open it.few weeks to go.and am going back to miri..for 2 months!!!!im not in the mood rite now.i mish him so badly.(T.T)and i hope u felt the same way my dear.wish me luck.:)

6.29 pm

this coming week is my final exam.I am not fully prepared.crossed my finger.hopefully everything will be fine.yesterday,something makes me dissapointed.a lot.wish i never knew about this.its hurting me.maybe i am the one who is too sensitive or just im not the lucky one.im being nice to people,but they just dont appreciate my efforts.i started to piss off.i should just hide my feelings.and pretend there's nothing happened.this is what happened when you are totally NOTHING.im not smart,yet not pretty.but just a simple girl trying hard to get through with my life.sometimes, i need space.for myself.rite now,kinda broke becoz overspent.:(

and it is nothing wrong for me to plan to buy smthg for my self rite?erm.let me think.A LOT.but rite now im thinking of my boi.wanna spend time with him.it is not fair for him if i spend too much time wif my peeps.love u so much.