sazalove

hearty

2010-12-11T04:45:00.000-08:00

no hearts.no feelings.just empty.why do u leave me?just because of that old picture?here's a letter to my heart
dear heart,i'm so sorry coz keep on hurting you.im letting myself to fall for a guy..that doesnt want me at all.;(
i love him.i sacrificed a lot for him.first break up is fine,second break up is okay.but the 3rd break up,what can i say.i love u so dearly,why do you have to treat me like that?i'm crying myself to sleep..im speechless.why..why..(T.T)i saw ur fb..i think u r moving on..it's very sad to see the one u loved,leave u by not saying goodbye..i'm strong..i know i can do it..i know i can move on..a big regret of my life..u dont even care what happened to me......look at the bright side...i have more friends..i'm not perfect at all..im sorry coz this girl cant make u love her..it's SO PAINFUL.
when im sick,where were you..i was hoping u could come..and look after me..but u didnt..when im so sad..where were you..you were with ur frens..happily..but u never realized how i felt..almost everyday,i have been crying myself to sleep.that's not a lie.u never cared..i lose wan...u leave me when i need you..when i was driving alone at 10 pm,going back to the campus,what did you do?where were you?you with ur friends.AGAIN.I need you,but u were never be there for me.you have wasted so much time with them and i dont want to see myself marrying a guy that put other thing as his 1st priority..my position is ALWAYS at the bottom of ur list right?i didnt asked u to buy bmw for me,i dont need ur money,cars and cash.all i want is u treat me nicely.but u never appreciated me.u called or texted me when u need me..but when i need you,where were you?it's not fair at all.now,you're moving on,all i can do is smile..feeling the pain..at the age of 21..u know how i have always felt..for you..u know i love you..but u and ur ego..u accused me..becoz of that picture,you leave me just like a that..i'm almost gone mad..and thankfully,im a diploma holder..even if u r not reading this,i want u to know..i'll remember what have u done to me..on my final year of diploma.i'm lucky to have great friends and that's the only thing i'll never regret throughout these 3 years.The only thing that can make me strong enough to face this is to delete you from my life..forever..i dont want to remember anything about you..coz diz has been driving me crazy..for 3 months..i want to be happy..let me go..i cant be like this forever..u know who you are..i have never love someone..like this..so badly..if i move on one day,remember i have loving u so much more than i love myself and that is so wrong..becoz u have to love urself first,then u can love others..

about the past

2009-10-09T06:45:00.000-07:00

i still cant get over you,
i still cant.
please help me.i dunno what's going on between us.u& me,it was a lovely story.our love story starts,when i thought u're the most annoying person in the world back then.everytime,u passed me with ur green baju mlayu,u're always giggled there with ur friends.and i find that was annoying.and i kept on hearing ur names,well from my bestie darel.
at first,i didnt bothered much when u text me..but i have a bit feelngs towards you..when u were dating with the gal,i pretend not to look at you,but actually,i looked at you when you're not even looking..till the day,i did a prank call to u..and then it starts.u're such a sweet person..i can remembered how u would acted when i was around..i can c ur face blushed when ur friends teased you..
1 km away,i can see ur widest smile when u saw me waving at you..our love was great..we made promises to each other..and i still kept ur doll..and i dont want to throw it away..it all just lies wan..and it surprised me,u remembered my full name even i didnt know u dat tyme..we're both going out..and untill that day..u bought me the little teddy keychain..and gave it to me..i was so happy..and i loved it so much..too bad the teddy lost his arms..we would texted each other,every single days..every nite...and i could see ur smile..
i always remembered u could called me ham2..and i called u miao2..sad nw..i wish u were with me..too bad..u were with her rite now..

a sad moment

2009-10-09T05:54:00.000-07:00

how i wished that this wouldnt turned to be this way?how wish i could return back to the time that i made a mistake to u?im such a fool.m trying hard to get over him.he's rite now happy with his new gal while im d one who stuck with our memories.i know u're not that kind of person.and i know,u're not mean.and never will.i want to hear from urself.that's all lies.it broke my heart when she answered the call and telling u were still asleep.it hurts deeper.i made a lot of promises with you.we were so happy back then..y?y?y u did diz to me..u broke up with me..d nite before our 1st year anniversary.well,its easy to say dat i can forget u.but truthfully,i cant.i just wish u could read diz.i wish u knew i love u more than u could have imagined..i wished everythg was normal..just like back then..i wish u were in love with me once again..how could u do diz to me..i love u always,and for now,be happy with the gal tht u re currently in love now..i couldnt imagined,u played our songs to her..she took u away from me..it likes i have been robbed.i dun even know what to say.im trying to move on..and sadly,if i did,i wouldnt turned back anymore.i will kept on looking forward.if i do so,it hurts me deeper.and deeper.the wounds are still there.at my chest.only me,and god know,how it felt..it aint easy..

i know you want me

2009-06-28T08:00:00.000-07:00

choose one.diz ice cream or me?no.im taken by my wawan.so u have to choose tht ice cream.

I know you want me

u knw i want you

i m so addicted to this song!nice~

im being myself.and happy for who i am.nobody can bring me down!

miri!

2009-06-28T06:42:00.000-07:00

Dear bloggie,it has been two months i have been in miri.im not active in my blogging activities,well this is it.Im a bit sad to leave miri actually,because i have to be independent if im at my uni.well,when im at home,i have nothing to worry about..$$ problems obviously..my food..my laundry..everything is being taken care of.

My first job ever at the age of 20,A TUITION TEACHER!SO,my first day was quite bad.I didnt prepared at all.:( there were a few notty students which reminds me lil bit of myself..but over all,i think my job is okay.the students did show some efforts.i appreciated them a lot.since this is my first job.i didnt earned much..but tht's gonna be fine since i have nothing to do at home..

And i have realized that i have to learn to appreciate my friends.sometimes,it is nice to do thgs for urself..:) no pressure at all.just me.<3till>

another day of boredom

2009-04-17T21:06:00.000-07:00

study,study,study,till my head felt wanna explode.try to open my facebook page,still didnt managed to open it.few weeks to go.and am going back to miri..for 2 months!!!!im not in the mood rite now.i mish him so badly.(T.T)and i hope u felt the same way my dear.wish me luck.:)

6.29 pm

2009-04-16T03:22:00.000-07:00

this coming week is my final exam.I am not fully prepared.crossed my finger.hopefully everything will be fine.yesterday,something makes me dissapointed.a lot.wish i never knew about this.its hurting me.maybe i am the one who is too sensitive or just im not the lucky one.im being nice to people,but they just dont appreciate my efforts.i started to piss off.i should just hide my feelings.and pretend there's nothing happened.this is what happened when you are totally NOTHING.im not smart,yet not pretty.but just a simple girl trying hard to get through with my life.sometimes, i need space.for myself.rite now,kinda broke becoz overspent.:(

and it is nothing wrong for me to plan to buy smthg for my self rite?erm.let me think.A LOT.but rite now im thinking of my boi.wanna spend time with him.it is not fair for him if i spend too much time wif my peeps.love u so much.

geeks Rule

2009-03-01T01:50:00.000-08:00

today..i was so busy online and started to notice something.my friends in my facebook and friendster.Some of them..i am not sure how to say this.But they have become very weird.U know,ever since that particular person has added me in her FB/FS,she didnt even drop a comment to my page.But that's just fine.What i saw was she was busy giving comments to her other friends which is i dont think she even close to them.What i am trying to say is,people are giving more attention to those smart people.Well,rite now i am taking diploma..but if compared to them,i am far away behind.And im not being sponsored or getting those special treatments when im in this university since i'm not doing well in my study.When i sat in the class,i could see cliques.The smart geeks,the jokers,the bimbos,the famous one,the poplar one,the athletes and many more.I am not sure i am in which category.But the geeks are usually get the attention.haha.This is not like the west just like in the movies..people adore the famous one and popular one..
GEeks cant be cool.Unless there were some makeovers.Perhaps,i should be one of the geeks?studying till morning and neglect all my entertainments?erm..wanna do it in my way."study hard,play hard"

Tomorrow is monday.Formal day.I didn't manage to iron my clothes yet..(-_-)
No matter i try so hard to look cool,and act cool.I still didn't get the spotlight.:(
I still get the "u r spoiled girl and u dont have a brain" look from people.I try to be nice.yeah.so hard.But people are always did that to me.Its time to change.
1.study hard
2.get good pointer
3.dress up nicely
4.diet to the maximum
5.talk to people nicely
6.dont talk rubbish(yawn)
7.get to know all the latest books(im not a bookworm) and movies
8.follow the rules
9.do some baking at home
10.switch r&b to jazz

ahhhhhhhhhhh.that is so not me.I cant change myself
solutions:be urself.If they like you,they will accept you.

Let me decribe things about myself,i am the girl who loves to spend her time with the people that she loved,and try to be individual.I am not the one who always act like characters in drama series such as gossip girls.I am the girl that enjoyed and love to make friends with people if the people are friendly to me.If i told you i love somthg,that's mean i really meant it.Some of my friends did say i have already forgotten them.That's not an excuse to bring me down and as i know,you are the one who always envied me all the time and forgets me all the time.Dont ever try to mess with me.I can be nice,i can be loving and i can be ur worst enemy.I am into R&B and techno because honestly,i love music.And if i have talent i would go further.:p
I can be a good listener if u listened to me.I am always try to be individuality.I love pink.I want to rules my own country if i get to be a president and named my country Pink Kingdom.And every monday, all the citizens would wear pink clothes.And the whole street would be in pink color.Even guys MUST wear pink and love pink too in PInk KIngdom.ahaha.My fantasy.Genius isn't it?
I love to chill out with my friends till morning.This is what i do.I dont like to talk ill about people as what some other girls love to do.I coloured my hair whenever i felt like i want to do it.I go for pink as my colour last year and get caught by "most" favorite person in my UNi,the guards.
Dont try to act as if you are good in front of me,but you were not.
I want to be idolized.I want to be the person people who would be proud of to be friend with.I love to socialize with friendly people.And that is me.I am not the one who sit in my room and read books.I prefered fashion magazine because i love fashion so much that i want to have my own lines one day.Insyaallah.I want to be the trend setter.Let people remember my name.And i wont forget yours if you remember mine.:p.I love to enjoy myself so much that i dont even care what's on your mind.Dont simply judge me.

x0x0.
love
saza

23rd february

2009-02-22T20:31:00.001-08:00

it has been a while i didnt post new entry..and this is it.
okay..today i woke up late...and getting so bored with my uni life with all typical thinking people.i just wish students here can be more open minded..and we can dressed up nicely.(etc;skirts and shorts)haha.ryte now i am missing you so badly..
yoU?
my syg of course.mwahx(^^)
i have a lot of thgs to do..i m started to get pissed off my hair..its getting critical..omg~and i started to think i have been idolized by sumone.*wink.at first i was so mad..omg by thinking of her i would get pissed off..dont u have anythg to do besides try to be muaa.hahaha.jk.but at last i can handle it..yea2.so wat..im her idol..hahaha
till then,
x0x0

my sis's besday

2009-01-26T07:40:00.000-08:00

my sis's besday..26th january..
Happy birthday to you!

ahaha.:D
i am so happy..rite now,i am so drooling over a new thg..i love that bag so much and i really want to own it.:D crossed my finger.i know i'm gonna have it.With my own money.correction.my parent's money.well, i am not working yet.so considered that is my parent's money.(^_^)
I want to go for shopping with my boyfriend..hee..i love you dear..mwahx.i don't want to use my old clothes anymore.too much bad memories.:D perhaps.since now is a new year.wishing myself to have a great year,new chapter and not to forget,i am no more a teenage girl.sad.:(
20 years old yeah?
and i wanna lose weight too.hee.

lame stories

2009-01-25T02:08:00.000-08:00

tersebutlah kisah,sebuah kisah..haha...apabila si gadis bertemu dgn si pemuda..dan perhubungan mereka berakhir begitu saja dan si gadis itu telah kecewa serta terluka dan tidak menjangka ada pemuda yang sooo much better akan datang ke dalam hidupnya yang bernama wawan..dan sekarang si gadis itu sangat bahagia di samping pemuda yang tercinta..dan semalam si gadis itu melihat pemuda yang bernama **** yang pernah mengecewakannya berada di paxen bersama dengan seorg gadis baru yang cantik.she looks like a nice person..si gadis itu berasa kasihan melihat si gadis baru itu dan berharap si gadis baru itu tidak termakan dan tertipu dengan pemuda jahat itu...sesungguhnya pemuda itu adalah gillete..dan segala pisau cukur yang tajam..dan sharp..and to all girls out there,just beware of this type of boi..they just know how to talk sweet and make promises that never will come true.please.the end.

p/s:i love my wawan so much and glad i broke up with dat dude.haha(evil laughs)
WHAT GOES AROUND COMES AROUND.
Rite now,i have a new chapter in my life.
:D

chinese new year is coming soon

2009-01-24T07:35:00.000-08:00

happy chinese new year to all my friends..
:D

rite now,im trying to be positive..
haih..im soo negative about everything..bcoz i owez expected worst of the worst.my syg was rite.haaaha..sayang mish you so muchhhhhhh!n i wanna turned off my negative sides of me

23rd january

2009-01-24T06:58:00.000-08:00

me and cayang

Homer looks cute.ahah.okay2.i know sayang would read this...
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Birthday wish for my sayang..
Looks better than dat pix of homer.haha..

my sayang edi 20.i love you sayang..so3 much..on 22nd we celebrated his birthday.. his 20th birthday.he has turned 20..i hope you like my gift my dear..hee..that day is the best day for me..seriously..never felt happy like this before..omg..sayang was very sweet that time..no one..i mean no one ever treated me like you did dear..i know..maybe sounds too jiwangness..but i really mean it..and you kept on saying that u love me..u r so sweet..am so lucky to have you..feels like in heaven...i cant described..i cant explained..but as i know,you are special to me

Best Birthday It’s your birthday...
and I’m thinking how glad I am
that you were born.
You have given me so much--
supported me, encouraged me,
cared for me; I didn't even need to ask.
I celebrate your wonderful self!
I am in awe of your boundless generosity,
your infinite kindness--that gentle inner glow
that you so freely use to warm my life.
Your birthday is as much a celebration for me
as it is for you, maybe more,
and I wish for you the best of birthdays,
the best one ever.
May each birthday be better than the last.
Most of all, I hope you will always be
As happy as you have made me.

By Joanna Fuchs

ANGER

2008-12-29T04:20:00.000-08:00

I AM SO MAD RITE NOW TILL I COULD NOT EXPRESS THEM.

scandal!!

2008-12-27T07:26:00.000-08:00

Sure all boys want a hot gal lyke her.
Rich,famous,hot body,shiny hair,pretty face,

What caused this problem?
Why do you want to have a scandal?
IF ur scandal as hot as her.wow.thumbs up for you!
but,do u think its worth?lying to the person that you loved?And a message to all the scandals out there,
is it really exciting to see other people's relationship destroyed?if this happened to you,then u know how it felt.one word for you.Pathetic.
Hahaha.
I just felt bad to see this type of people are still not ashamed of what they have did to other people.Well,sumtymes your stupidity will leads to another.Secret lover?Haha.I bet it wont last long.If they loved you,its not all about the sweet words they texted to you everyday.Its about the feeling that u felt,the desire that u wants to own them.haih.Im not a Shakespeare.Not expertise in love thingy.But we learnt from our past.ahah

my saturday 27th

2008-12-27T04:16:00.000-08:00

i went out with my sis diz morning..too bad my hp was lowbat and didnt managed to take pix..
we went to kaya toast today,and Fion hair studio,and we went to diz one beauty center near the sun city there..i can't remember d name,but the beauty center is near to a salon..same building.I am having my spa there.The price was quite reasonable.My sister did the hot stones on her back.and she got herself a massage.And i have decided to take the spa.Very calming.But the jacuzzi was okay.Especially the lavender oil.Very calming.My next visit to that place,im going to try the aromatheraphy or the full package for body.My sister paid for me.yeay.Using her credit cards.The staffs there was quite friendly and helpful.I have been a lot to beauty centers,and sometimes the staffs kinda unfriendly and rude.sigh.(-_-)
oh yeah.I forgot.This morning I went to Piasau area.To trim my eyebrows(my eyebrows kinda thick)..then I went to this shop,and the salesgirl er..she looked older..never mind that.She told me that i have to wait and since I'm not a very patient lady,so I went to the saloon next door.To trim my eyebrows there.

Me:Err,u got do eyebrow shaping here ka?
The lady:Yea2.Come in
Me:(quietly just went to the chair)
The lady:(Talking to her friend)Ada mascara dari china ya..nok apa namanya..x brani aku pakey
Her friend:Kenak kah?
The lady:Nok mun ko makey nak,makin panjang bulu mata kau kat ujong ya..bahaya
Her friend:Mascara apa ya?
The lady:Mascara ******,dari China.ujongnya panjang.Tangada patah,tercucok mata lalu buta.X aku bani

Her friend:Ish,Ndak aku bani..
my eyelashes.

what are you trying to say lady?Fuck off lah.U are saying that i'm wearing that type of mascara??Hey,I am blessed with beautiful eyelashes which are not fake since my mom got a lot of mixed.And,I don't wear that type of mascara and I don't wear fake items that you can get at pasar malam.Such as M.A.C and many more.I am using Chanel rite now.Got my friends told me that the M.A.C that are sell at pasar malam there are rejected items.I don't think that kind of brand would sell their rejected items at pasar malam.I mean in KL also got the items.Yeah.In Kch too.Its like everywhere.If there are a lot of rejected items then what's the different you are buying the original one and the rejected one.Is it the rejected items got failure?I don't know.Rumours.When it comes to cosmetics and skin care,I don't dare to buy things like that.Dangerous oo.Maybe got dangerous chemical substances.oh my.Back to the story again.

Just because u are wearing those fake eyelashes,don't simply offend other people.I am your customer.Haih.u and ur workers there are so pathetic.Dont want to talk bad about people.Try yourself and u will know

Too much colours for a yearr

2008-12-26T05:20:00.000-08:00

first colour,wannabe angmoh

2nd,cut it short.blonde a bit

3rd,i think brown colour..

4th red and blonde at the fringe

5th blonde at my fringe

6th,pink at the sides

my 7th,pinky fringe

latest

black is just nice.:D
my hair is soo damaged ryte now..omg.treatment please!

More pixxx

2008-12-26T04:55:00.000-08:00

This dude.haha.on diz exhibition day which was organised by my faculty..One thing about this dude dat caught our attention was..he made diz glasses with attachable torchlights.haha.
He was still trying to prove that his invention really works.Evil of us.haha.Asking him to demo and we asked a lot of weird2 questions.And we even took his pix.Hope u dont mind aa.haha

me and my bebeh,ecy

ecy n me again..haha

sweet.^_^

This pix was taken by my coursemate,Jimmy..and the airport people kinda mad at us coz we were not allowed to take pix there.haha.

xmasss~!

2008-12-26T03:37:00.000-08:00

Our first date.With cayang.haha.

TOo bad..x sempat take pix of us..oh well..its quite nice..to gather around with old friends..and missed them a lot..i met aloy,jessica,tina,tinie,suff,alice,li ping,..haha..i came to tina's house with teten..and darel n nazrid were there too.And im kinda miss this whole thing.I have been so busy with my love life laz tyme,and i regretted it a lot.Because i didn't get a chance to meet my friends.
Lessons that i have learnt: 1.do not neglect ur friends 2.Have a stable life 3.always text with my syg,and try to ambik ati syg. 4.Friends forever 5.Forget that fucking loser. 6.Forget "parasites"

oh.
marry xmas to all my friends.And happy new year!

Forget the past.Learnt from it.Don't stuck yourself in past.
Move on.Enjoy.

Things dat im gonna do in 2009
1.Study like there's no limit!
2.Enjoy to the maximum
3.spend time with wawan cyg..
4.go vacation
5.Respect my parents
6.Enjoy with friends
7.Get to know more people
8.Be nice to my lecturers.
9.Be nice to people
10.try to be hot.ahahha
11.getting slim
12.LOsers and fakers.eliminate them.

my wawan

2008-12-24T04:32:00.001-08:00

syg,y our face looks like gsness????

now,it looks better..haha

Wan=Wawan(just to make it sounds manjak)

tomolo xmas

2008-12-24T02:14:00.000-08:00

Dear bloggie,today I was so busy,getting my X-Ray done..and went to see for my doctor,picked up my laptop..and my laptop always got the viruses thingy..sux.and there are a lot of pix..i want to upload in my bloggie..

darel and me

candid.

darel,james,mek,ecy,n pjiee

four of us

candid again..haha

cant wait to go back to kch again.i mish all my babe.seriously.can't live without you.especially,my lalink tintaaa

my past

2008-12-20T04:32:00.003-08:00

dat tyme..i am the passengers..yawn..dunno how to drive..asking my brother to send me here and there..in diz pix,i was on my way to brunei.mish brunei.The chocolates,and kebabs..ahahah.

us.at nazrid's house
nazrid was in front..nazrid..with his wide smile..hahaha

When i looked at myself few years ago..i smiled.

in my mind,all i think is enjoy la..dat tymee

entertainment..yeah..dats all i care by that time

enjoy to the MAXIMUM
my ex skoolmate(primary school)
our first gath..and our lautze was there oso.

my besties...nasrun was there oso..at the back there..

mish my pinkie slipperrr

us..at our convocation day..they looked like bodyguards to me.haha.jk.

us at lan's house.yeah.lan who was d one who took diz pix.u got talentt.haha.
clbrate raya..

me n manie in d bus
i dunno when diz pix was taken..but Im sure we were on trip..being notty..here and there

kye,me,doul,manie n ct
nice shades.

in diz class..while our teacher was still teaching in front there.omg.we were so in our own world.
nazrid's head.lan?kye,me n manie

caroline,me,manie n my bestie omaaa
my hair looked worst..we went for this one ride.crazy ride...!

i miss omaa.he was my bestiee..u could see almost all the pix he was with me..all the tyme..mr oma..haha..,dearest kye,n crazy aloysious

kye,me,suff,tiena,manie,n sapiq

sapiq,teten,manie,oma,allyz,ct,me,han chiak,and kye

my name is on fireeee..cool~

frens since primary school!
effa.niesa,fara

fooling around.silly us..

i miss diz moments..me with my bestie.Just us.
Happy~
But things has changed.We all have grown up..and go different ways..
Appreciate all the good moments.
Cheers~

saturday

2008-12-20T04:10:00.000-08:00

Woke up late this morning,
haih..i was planning to go to Paxen ,but seems like Paxen was crowded with people.Yeap,Xmas is coming..and New Year too.I canceled my plans,then i went out with Teten..She bought this cutie tiny jar for her boyfriend.How sweet.And she's gonna make these tiny stars and put them inside this jar.Sayang want them oso?^_^

And we went to Boulevard there.I ordered my favourite chocolate cheese toast,and she was having her Cendol..After that we have to go to pick up my sis n bro from tution classes.Not much to do for today.
:D

Cant wait to go back to KCH.
I wanna meet my dearest sayang,

xoxo
love you.

Game over.

2008-12-19T05:33:00.000-08:00

Another day,i went to Teten's house just now..wow.we have been planning on something..yeay.Can't wait.Our FIRST tyme ever.yeay.
*wink.haha.

And,i have decided.NO more sympathy.I don't give a damn..Okay?I'm so moving on.Enough is enough.What you have done to me is too much.What are you trying to prove to me?Have i done something to you?Well,I am sorry.I don't mean it.I have changed okay?I am no more the type of girl that you can insulted and used whenever you want.I can still remember every moments..Good and bad moments..but rite now,I don't even know who you are.I kept on denying,you're not that type of person.But you are.And I felt so sad about it.And I cried that night,just because of you.I don't know.Why you are being so mean to me?I dont know what are you trying to do.Because I just dont want to know.I dont want to face the facts.

The world has changed.The culture has changed.Everything has changed.You have changed.So am I.
Listen,
I don't know what is inside your mine..I don't know why you always trying to make me felt so bad about myself.I just don't care.But,look at yourself at the mirror.Please respect other people.Don't simply say about other people.What they have done to you.They don't even know you.I am the one who always be there for you.Always.All the time.Starting from now,I just can't stand anymore.I felt useless.

Don't ever think EVERYONE is just like you.I am not.I have faith in my god,Allah.Even though i know i'm not that alim.But you people bragged a lot about the sins that you did and i get sicked of it.
Stop being selfish.Please be realistic.Maybe you just don't get it.
I am sorry.

You have to accept yourself,forgive yourself,forgive everyone.I forgive you.I don't know what is going on in your life.Maybe by hurting other people,make other people felt miserable about themselves makes you happy.And I am sorry.I don't want to be part of your games anymore.Between you and me,this is life.
GAME OVER.

my results

2008-12-18T06:40:00.000-08:00

wow..just try to imagine.i try to login my uni's website for every 30 minutes.im being so paranoid..haha
and turns out,i thought my chemistry subject will sure...i am really sure i could get E for my chemistry.that's my worst expectation...or or..i could be kicked out..omg.i lose weight in 3 days..i didn't eat much..and being so paranoid bout this whole thing..
i kept on msging my syg lyke diz
me:im gonna die..im gonna die..
syg:dont say lyke dat..have faith in urself..
me:mok pensan..gonna die..wanna die..
syg:if u say it again,i wont talk to u..
me:(-_-) wanna die..
an at 1 pm lyke dat,i received this one phone call from Bank Islam..

the lady:Is this miss Sazariema?
me:yea.
the lady:owh k..i wanna asked..r u still studying?
me:of course..why?
the lady:oh..we just want to update..that's all.thank you.bye.
me:.....

omg..u still wanna asked me that type of question????why some of my friends didn't received that phone call..sigh..just wish she called me and say.."hey,u have juz won RM1 million"..then i didnt have to worry so much about my results..and can go directly to any dentistry school or college..and working..and earned more money..making business..successful before i'm 30..get married...and have babies..and wanna own a building..own a shopping complex..ahha..dreaming too much.but it's not wrong rite?
dream->hope->hardwork->future?
and..

i did pass!wow..haha..but turns out my bio failed..haih.maybe not enough study or what..but i try hard..gonna mish the field work.sobs.guess i have to do my field work with my juniors.....i did carried away..with all my activities.."mencucok bintang"<-new terms..and i did argue with my own coursemate..well,to be exact..me,and two tracys face to face with that girl..and she did say because of our laziness,we are like "this".i am so offended. and..she accused me and my girls were the one who spread the rumours saying that she is a bitch at the matriculation labuan there.omg,well,maybe she didn't believe us.who would believe us..of course people would trust the innocent faces..DUH.The truth is girl,we don't give a DAMN.We have our own problems to handle,why we would bother about you?What are you trying to say?That we are jealous of your results?I mean your hardworks paid off.Yeah.We'll see in part 3.Then we'll see,who got the better results.

my monday

2008-12-14T20:57:00.000-08:00

my cayang

cayang try to be cute.^_^

we dun want the shirts to look so lame..then ...we adjusted it a lil bit.hahaha.
us the trend setter

crazy us.inspired by scary movie.hahaha

few days to go.the result of my final will come out..crossed my fingers.no more repeat subjects!
i cant wait to go back to meet my sayang and celebrate his birthday.20th birthday.my syg is getting old..xmas is coming soon..waa..and new year too..cant wait tht.hee.
today i woke up late again.yea2.i know.im lazy.so what???

my sunday

2008-12-14T07:18:00.000-08:00

i love her.mish u bebeh.

today,sunday,14th.
i am having my sundae diz afternoon..
diz few days..makes me think dat if i should forgive "sumone"?
just maybe.well,as i know,we are not perfect.we are not barbie dolls..plastic from the outside and has a perfect world..perfect boyfriend,perfect luxury car(juz wish i cud have one..grin..),perfect house,hot besties,..and what else?i wish i cud be that type of person,but too bad..i am not.but im happy being myself.
in life,we must have rules..
what would it be,if we don't have traffic lights?
what would it be if criminals are everywhere?
what would it be if we dont have laws,and rules??
then its all depend on yourself.
the way you think
did you ever tot about your death?
sumtymes i did think about it,but try to ignore it.
things happened for reasons,
i am not happy rite now
i dun wan to be fake
sadly,i did found out about something.and it makes me so sad..
i juz cant accept it.okay2.we have to c gud thgs about tht person.but i think it makes me hurted.
i dun c not even one.i try to convince myself.but i dont think it is working.
i dun wan to be plastic.i wan to be me.dont try to make me into somethg that i am not..
i had enuf of diz.i dun want to be insecure about myself.people do changed.i know.i had enuf lies.i never try hard to get attention from people.all i did juz a warm smile,gud conversation,and be urself.then,it works like magic.im now in a beautiful relationship with my boi,and diz tyme i dont want to mess it up.juz lyke what i did in the past.too much lies.i juz can't stand it.im not being myself.im not ur doll okay.i had enuf of diz.too muchhh.i want diz to end.

saturday

2008-11-29T06:04:00.000-08:00

Boulevard..us..sue,me and sya

food court boulevard..love youuu

My sis bring me out today..went shopping..then around 2,i called sue,and sya which are my closest friend to hang out with me.We went to boulevard and meet our friends..and my handphone was low battery..and my sayang was upset..sorry about that sayang..i promised wont do it again..waa..

..and we went to see our cute friend Siti which was working at the boulevard there.There was an event which promoted Batik from Terengganu..
i was thinking about something..how do we look like in 10 years later?maybe we are getting some wrinkles..omg..next year,we will be 20 years old.I can't believe it!!
I have known Sya and Sue since i was 13..now we are 19..wow.it has been 6 years.hope our friendship lasts forever...:D
stjoe rulez.

xoxo
saza

emo..

2008-11-28T05:32:00.001-08:00

location:esplanade,miri,sarawak.
time:4.45 pm
weather:hot.

will never look back..

forget about everything..

it sounds simple.As long as you try,then it works.
my advice for myself(not my advice actually..haha..good friend of mine,charles's advice)
"we try to c gud thgs about someone and try not to look for their weaknesses.."

then i realized..he was right..eventhough the person is being a snob or anythg..i still try to see what's good about them..what makes me still wanna stick with them..and i am sincere to be their friend..and always be there for them..don't worry..:)
just be yourself..then u feel great..

i am always..i mean always kinda lost..and try to be someone else..then one day..this gud fwen of mine,teten told me something(already forgot)which makes me realized about everything.who was being a real friend,who was faking it,who was being a parasite the whole time..

and my boyfriend..yeah..i really love him..he accepted me for who i am..and he taught me a lot of things..i must admit..i'm quite selfish last time when it comes to relationship..it's always been about me..me...me...me...

but now,i have you my dear.never thought the boy that i always geram..and i did prank calls to him..is my boyfriend now.haha.
love ya..

parasitism-a relationship between two organisms whereas one is being harmed and one get the benefits.haha.

then,i am.. trying so hard..to achieve(that was my principal's favourite word when i was in stjoe)what i have dreamed..insyaallah.i hope i can make it.

People adore $$$$$
People can't live without $$$$$$
$$$$$$ can't buy everything
i know.
haha
use your brain la..and managed ur $$$$$ wisely..

few days b4 going back to miri(after my final papers)

2008-11-26T21:16:00.000-08:00

i wanna be her.haha.

At big apple,i prefered my donuts wif cheese..cheesy..
I'm not a patient lady..hahaha..where's my donuts?????

my ceeka(sista) and me..was paying for donuts.fat kids who love sweet stuffs.hahaha.

me and my daddy at the spring..$$$$$

my sis emoe?haha.cheer up girl.

pouting my lips..haha..what are you looking at?my evil twin..feyro(my borther).some people thought that we are twins...haha..i am one year younger than him..and obviously smarter than him but lazy..hahaha.(bragged about myself too much)perasan..hahah.:P

waiting for d food..haha..my funny uncle was quite shy over there..haha..

a pix of my sis ceeka and me..candid.haha.my bro loves to take pix..hahaha..me a wannabe model was pleased to be one of his "arts"..hahaha.he is a blogger too...and he always carry a camera with him...

yummy dimsum..i juz cant get enuf of these.my favourite!

another day

2008-11-25T19:26:00.000-08:00

so bored while waiting for my brother..he has physic paper on that day..
after 6 fucking months,i managed to get a good sleep..there's nothing new about miri..
ahh..yes..i forgot
1.secret recipe
2.starbucks
3.soho(i tot it was a clubbing place juz lyke in kch but it turns out to be a cafe)
4.what else..hahaha

my besties are not here..darel,ecy,mek..waaa.i need all of u.u r my drugs..hahaha.just now i saw some pix at amoebar in friendster..cool..costume party..envy them.

rainy day,,

2008-11-24T21:28:00.000-08:00

im so into Louise Bagshawe's books rite now.haha.today,i decided to go for a jog..but it was raining..i guess i juz have to wait another day again..i wanted to lose my weight..my current weight is 47.5 kg..and i want to make it around 44 or 43 kg..plus,i have a flabby tummy..scared oo..later got people spreading rumours dat i am pregnant.you know who you are right?i dont have to mentioned ur names.always badmouthed about people.i felt sorry for you rite now..
if i compared myself to you,i am soooo better than you.living a healthy life,no illegal stufss,juz feeling free..all by myself..and you?involved in dat kind of thing,and hey,people do talked about you.we'll see.who will be better in the future.i mean in terms of cashh,how much u earned,life and many more.
But i already forgive you.Its been a long time ago..see?im such a kind hearted person.(yeah rite).hahaha.(evil laughs)

just now my boi text me..huhu..he wrote these:

S-sweet
A-attractive
Z-zz(tdo)
A-adorable
R-rich wif manjakness
I-Innocent
E-Emotional
M-Marry me
A-And i'll make you happy
my name..so sweet.haha..
I'll make one for you

K-kind
H-honest
A-amazing
I-innocent
R-rock my world
U-understanding
L-loba..haha.no la..loving
I-irresistable
Z-zzzz(tdo)
W-wanted
A-appreciate
N-never.i will never leave you.

Just dance
ryte now,m listening to diz song.

.i love her shades.:D
super cool and vintage.
not to forget,her blonde hair.gorgeous.

guilty.

2008-11-24T07:27:00.000-08:00

i have found myself guilty for not telling my good friend that his boyfriend has cheated on her.
omg.haha.u know what, he is a good actor.wow.he should win a trophy.ahah.best actor of the year.
my friend is obviously pretty,smart..aiya..juz be grateful that she wants you...should i tell her???ahaa.i dont think so..becoz my friend was so MADLY AND BLINDLY in love wif dat dude.i know im not dat ALIM and perform my prayers 5 times a day but at least i have a brain and still can think.
to my good friend,
hope you find a nice dude out there that suits you.
to her cheating boifren,
lets face it.who wants you anyway.they juz want ur money laaa..

jaja

2008-11-23T21:07:00.000-08:00

saza=jaja.haha.only my closest friend called me that name.A picture of me,ecy my bestie n kvin.Thanx 4 d pix kvin

A pix of my sayang,me and pjie kawaii in the car.I think my make up was too heavy.but,hey,who cares.haha.

me and my bebehs...love ya all...sayang,i love youuu

try to be cute n kawaii..^_^ but failed.hehehe.chubby look!

At the beach,with my sayang...and pjie's name was behind us..waa..

Henna on our hands,d sweet gal did the henna for us.RM7.not bad.Ecy is the one who insisted on doing the henna juz becoz she wanted to show her hand to her boi.haha.ecy2.u got me.

I misssed my red hair...stupid uitm guards.
why we cant coloured our hair?I mean this is no more school life.THIS IS UNIVERSITY..Is it wrong when u try to look different from everybody?
Lame stuffs at my uni
1.no coloured hair
2.no sexy outfit
3.no long hair(for boys)
4.no jalan2 around the campus after 11 pm
5.typical thinking
6.seniorss..arghh
7.typical thinking..huhu
8.close minded people
9.some of diz type of ppl love to spread stupid rumours(got diz sarikei gal telling everyone dat my friend is being raped by orang minyak)
10.ohh..not to forget...their services..very rude..
11.erm..no privacies..

Good things about my university ********
1.cheap fees
2.free food per day(RM4)
3.erm..i think dats it.haha

for cyg

2008-11-22T01:04:00.000-08:00

I am not good at this.But here goes,

Love,
Hard to define,
A great feelings,
A mixture of love,care and loyalty
The presence of you
In my life
Changed my life
Its like i am alive again
You are everything good in my life
And I never thought,
the one that i really loved now,
Is the one that i didn't expected
He was always there
Luckily I have you
And i want to tell you everyday,
that I Love you.

my days

2008-11-22T00:12:00.000-08:00

a pix of us.wan and me.my sayang at library at my uni.He helped me a lot to go through all of my weaknesses.Thank you my dear.Things will never be the same without you.Now,he is my lover,my boi,my best buddy.Good moments with you sayang.hee.

I need entertainment.Seriously.I need him.I need myself.Haha.This is a picture of me before the night out with my girls.Don't judge me if you don't even know me.I am still the same person for the last few years and I still remained the same.It just that,when we were in secondary school,we still did not know what we want in life.But now, I know what I want and I must get it.When we grow up,things do changed.The way we think do change and differ from each other.=D

I just finished my second semester.Yeah.But i am going to miss my sayang..I didnt sleep well since the day of exam started.Wow.I'm so stressed out because my carrymarks was not that good.I cant blame anyone for that.Maybe I get distracted with my love's life thingy.Sux."play hard,party hard"
I am gonna miss my bebehs in cat city..my coursemates..my roommates..my clubmates..I just wish i passed my BIOLOGY 150 this semester.Please2.Hopefully my lecturer is very kind-hearted even though i know it wont happened. :( On the last day of the examinations,I meet my sayang.And i told him more than 5 times that i am gonna miss him..haha..i know it's lame.haha.I just wish i could put him inside my luggage and bring him home.And surprised my mom.Haha.

i woke up late this morning.sigh.just because i have to send my younger brother for his tuition class.call me a lazybone or anything.when it comes to wake up in the early morning,big NO-NO.haha.Then,i went to my shop to buy reload coupons for my celcom number.yeah.i cant live without my phones.Although they are not smart phones or PDA,but i still love them.haha.i just wish i could own one.:D
I just cant imagine if my life is without my handphones.If the dude who create the phones didn't create phones,i wonder how the world would be like without handphones.I cant text my beloved boyfriend,i can not keep in touch with my friends.In case my car broke down,I can not do anything but just wishing for a miracle to happen.i'm not a superman or what.haha.But we have similarity.."S"haha..:D

Last night was a heavy rain in town.I had to drive 40km/h because the weather was so bad.Lies.haha.It's been a while I didn't meet my friends in Miri.Last night,our planner for our gathering(not officially),Lan decided to lepak at my coffee shop.We are so loud.yeah.Who cares.Then,the funny thing was,their jokes are killing.Seriously.Btw,i am sorry darel.I didn't know he was there also.I talked to him just a little. :D

my bebehs

2008-11-21T17:57:00.000-08:00

having great tyme at d beach..

happiness.no fake.diz is real

our wan..haha..candid.

our kawaii mermaid.hahah..

me,my coursemates n my soulmate,haha.love u all.

at matang...heheh..

us.charles,vincent,ecy,me n my syg..enjoy d nyte..

ahahah.funny2.
friends are always be there for us when we need them..im sooo grateful to have them in my life.without all of you,things would be different.and i am so moving on.hehe.my new boi.mwahx

my important bebeh
name:khairulizwan
age:19
status:taken by me
expertise:merajuk

my next bebeh
name:tracy
nickname:ecy
expertise:being cute

name:tracy
yeah,i have two tracys.
nickname:mek
expertise:loveable
status:consider married..haha

name:darel
my crime partner
expertise:prank call
clubmate,bestie

name:pjie
age:19
status:nt sure
love kawaii
haha

mean

2008-08-21T09:30:00.000-07:00

ecy and me..the nite..i still can't forget..we were planning about going to somewhere..then there was a lof of things happened and make me started to scare and decided to go back..dat nite ecy has to stay at her house..so i called wan to accompany me to go back..and on the way,there was a katy perry's song-I kissed a girl..and we didnt realized that we were singing it out loudly together..and both of us laughed..after dat he asked me to stop by at this one shop dat sells keychains.cute ones.he bought one for him and one for me.couple teddy bears.mine was in wyte colour and his was in black colour..and they have that tiny little hearts at their chest.that was cute..and we go back..by that time,i was hoping that nobody would saw us together.Especially darel..ahha..becoz he is good at teasing people..haha..but the one dat saw us is not darel..but shahrol..good friend of darel and wan..and not to forget darel's roommate was there,Azam.haha.

my bestie darel,and ecy

she is hot.haha.interested?

my bebehs.us.trio.haha.at the semi-final gig at cat city.yeahs.

thank you my darl.i will love you all forever...

hepi!!so moving onnnn